2016 Interview and thoughts on writing

 In 2016 I did an interview with a friend for her blog. About running, parenthood and business. I think of it often and how a few of those answers felt like some of the best most true writing I have done. This passage in particular...

And what surprised you about that transition? (To parenthood)

'I am surprised at the emotion, connection to mortality, passing of time and grief in the strangest places. I feel sometimes like a kid still, like a teenager still, like a 20 something still. I don’t always feel adult enough to be an adult. Bringing out old toys and books, going to playgrounds and libraries, blowing milk bubbles, play dough… it just brings back so many parts of my past into the present."

Read the rest here: 

INTERVIEW

Writing is something I always go back to. I had journals as a kid and young adult. In those days I knew I enjoyed school writing assignments but my spelling was so bad it often stopped me from pursuing the possibility. Isn't that wild? Grammer was solid, thoughts were there, no one told me I couldn't be a writer. But that one thing tripped me up. How could I be a good writer if I was an awful speller? How could I be a good writer if my memory wasn't able to make up worlds or always remember names? But my mind can do other things and transport me to other places I didn't realize. I remember by sensation and feeling. I connect ideas and worlds easily, I enjoy the task of trying to explain myself to that level. 

I know its not too late. I don't want to write a novel or even a book, I don't think. But I do love to write. I know now, why. Why forming thoughts and getting all the brain connections that come easy to me down feels good. I love the ability to edit and re-arrange. How really there is no pressure unless I hit that publish button. And even then, who cares? I know I have a voice and its remained fairly true and constant, it doesn't change that much with age or time, its not trying to be something its not. When I hit the words that my body wants to say it feels right, and good, and joyful, even writing about loss and grief. 

Having a thread of illness or motherhood or running is just a connection, a starting point, north star or reason why I can write. I know just like every other skill, it takes practice and time and evolution, you have to do and try to get anywhere. So ill keep typing.