Tessa Tries Again

16 weeks ago I set a goal for September 4th, my 41st Birthday.

I put a 5k on the calendar.

I had just realized I had a possible fix to 4 years of exercise intolerance. A tiny voice in my head said, well... why not try again?

That voice also said delusional things like 

"Maybe you will just start to run fast again! Maybe after a few weeks you will be able to run your old paces, or at least close! Maybe you will drastically and almost instantly lose the extra 40lbs that seems to just hang out since you couldn't do any aerobic exercise. You are young! You could just fix it and tap into the person you were in 2019!"

DELUSIONAL 

But hope is hope

And while puttering along this summer I have put in 2-3 mile runs 2-3 times a week. With a tiny bit of pace improvement, and a tiny bit of comfort improvement. And most importantly I don't feel like shit after, it doesn't make any symptoms worse. I have continued to improve energy wise, day to day, that I feel like I am very close to my 2019 self at least in daily stamina. That alone is a fucking miracle. 

And after 3+ months of daily L-Carnitine and Acetyl-l-Carnitine supplementation I feel like it has really worked to make me feel like myself again. That win is HUGE. I am lucky to have it. I have gotten to know many other ,once very active folks, in the Long Covid community and it is rare to get a win like that. 

But my running future is still unknown. 

But I am going to give it a good solid yet cautious effort. It seems like that is what is needed if I ever want to see it again. In a lot of ways it feels like im 14 again and I am at my first summer Cross Country practice. And I cant get through the 2 mile loop without stopping. While I still hope that at some point my body will just figure out what I am doing and that it actually used to be very good at this and it has all the parts and pieces still (I think) to once again do it it just needs to somehow get everything to work together to do it. 

Or it could all go to shit.

Or I could end up somewhere in the middle where I am never the athlete I was (even graded for age) but I can access a decent future of activity. That also sounds great. 

So I think I will update more about it on here. If only to have a reference and motivator to keep going. 

CURRENT GOALS:

Run 10 miles a week in September: 3 runs a week. 

Plus I get to start a new weekly small group strength classes! I could only do 1on1 or solo because of energy suck/sensory issues before so this is also a win!

Currently both my children have Covid and I am running extra cautiously because if I get covid again full blown it will certainly set all of this back again.  But until that happens I am willing to try.

follow along! 

Strava too!

Also should I invest in supershoes? Some say they are actually excellent for old farts trying to make a comeback. And you CANT TAKE THE RUNNING NERD OUT OF ME IF YOU TRY